Think Twice

Okay so forewarning this post might be a little morbid for some but I find it perfectly in keeping with my "being mindful" theme for the summer. When we had trinity's slumberparty last saturday we decided to sleep blake in our room on the floor. Two girls in the bunk and two girls on the floor seemed max capacity for the bedroom trin and blake share. Well, of course he didn't want to sleep on the floor but in bed with us. (those of you that know me know I BARELY share my bed space with my husband, I am VERY SELFISH about my bed space) =). Still it was obvious that blake wasn't going to take no for an answer that night so I left it to Jer to check every once in a while on the girls while I layed down with Blake. (I was exhuasted anyways!) As we lay next to each other I thought to myself "he is NEVER going to sleep if I am facing him, he will want to play with my face/hair/ etc. and we will be up all night so I turned away from him. We were back to back. Then I had the thought, what if? what if this were our last moments together alive? (morbid I know but don't we all have thoughts like that scattered throughout our fly-by days?) I thought, "I would never forgive myself if I turned my back on him for the sole reason that he go to sleep faster and I never got to touch his precious little face again or feel him reach out smilingly and poke at my face with his still-slightly-chubby toddler hand". Of course I shrugged it off about as soon as I thought it but in the end I couldn't resist, I had to roll over, face him and just watch him. He was already asleep on his back when I turned and a moment later his sweet little hand fell softly to my side. I lay there holding his little hand; amazed at what I had and what I could lose, I was simply grateful for the moment. A time-stopping moment. That's why I had to share. Please, enjoy your moments.