Beware When. . .

your children get old enough to tell on you. this is not a new phenomena in our house but has been causing a little more disruption lately than normal. Trinity just turned 7. Blake is 4. Both are old enough to tell on me. Case in point: I think food coloring is of the devil. Target has these icee machines that ALWAYS seem to have blue flavors which is of course what trinity wants. I have never let her get the blue because somehow in my mommy mind red or brown is not as bad as BLUE. I mean it turns everything blue; I'm betting your insides as well. At least red and brown match the insides. Okay tmi, but that is my decision and I'm sticking to it. So, as a special treat the other day I let her get one (red) and a lady commented to her while we were looking at t-shirts that it looked good. Trinity then launches into a detailed story of how she never gets BLUE because mommy doesn't like BLUE but she figures the red and brown aren't as bad so you can pick the red or the brown even though they aren't really good for you either but at least they aren't as bad as BLUE. . .yadda yadda. What you must know about trinity is that she takes forever to get a full sentence out with an adult. I don't know what it is but there is almost no eye contact, and she shifts her feet around while animatedly leaving great pauses between words like she is already light years ahead in the conversation but due to a faulty warp drive her mouth hasn't caught up with her brain. Most people look at me at some point almost as if to ask if she is quite all there. I simply smile and occasionally finish her point for her if she gives me the "it's okay to help" glance. This involves patience on my end and an undying hope that she isn't going tattle something serious or inappropriate. I mean who knows what this girl could have picked up? Her captive audience (and I do mean captive) usually then manages to mumble an "isn't that something?" and makes a quick exit for about as many aisles away as they can get from my little chatterbox.
A second (and more embarassing) case would be the doctors visits. Now when the doctor asks "are they eating well?" instead of me nodding a simple yes Trinity launches into one of her favorite subjects; Blake's poor eating habits. "He doesn't eat any vegetables, in fact he won't even TRY anything.  .he just eats like peanut butter sandwiches and cereal and stuff like that which isn't really bad for you but isn't really good for you either my mom says, oh and he really likes chicken mickies too which are shaped like mickey mouse heads? yeah, he won't eat any other chicken nuggets, just those" yadda yadda. . .oh and we can't forget that the doctor asks about our TV time. "well Blake plays his wii games like ALL the time, sometimes he gets in trouble because he doesn't turn it off, the other day I went out to play soccer but he didn't want to, blake doesn't really care about anything but his games. . ."yadda yadda. At this point I am inwardly cringing as the doctor tries to wipe the smirk off his face. If he wasn't such a gentle soul I would have taken it personally but I completely understand. How do you not laugh at this precocious 7 year old taking about an hour to tell you all the flaws of her mother's parenting in one fell swoop? Let's not forget Blake adding his two cents at the end. Things like "yeah, that's what mom says" or "I just like what I like" or "I'm contrary!". At least he means what he says this one. All of this to say, beware what you say and how you say it because it is most likely going to be repeated at some point and usually to the least favorable person you can think of.