Can't get over

This picture! I was searching for these cute knit monkey outfits where it comes not only with the monky face hat but a daiper cover that has a tail and I came across this. Can you believe this little baby!?!?  first of all I will never have a baby that small. so precious and delicate! Secondly the pink is just too pretty. I must still have some "girl envy" left in me because I just think this pic in blue would not have the same effect, lol now give me those toes to kiss!!!!

okay okay, I had to post a boy one too just to prove that they are to die for as well. . .

I mean look at that little chin and his oh so boy nose. sold! send him to me post haste!

Sunday Morning at Home

We all caught a small cold over the weekend so we are taking a low profile this morning. Trinity has had it since thursday but yesterday I got the sore throat and congestion and today it is the same if not a little worse after a tossy-turny night. I was in labor in my dreams most of the night which really has a powerful effect on your psyche. I find myself tired today and I wouldn't call it cranky but a little off for sure. Blah is a good word for it. Blake came downstairs saying his "neck" hurt. =) He then began crying and said I kissed him too much. (ha ha, that's what I get for telling trinity it is probably our good night kisses that got me sick when little ears are in the bottom bunk listening to every word). They are acting pretty perky though so I might give them a bath and when Jeremy gets up send them off somewhere to give me some time to rest. Trinity has been bugging already to see Kung Fu Panda 2. I was going to make them wait until after the baby, in case there was an afternoon I needed everyone out of the house but perhaps it doesn't matter so much. *sneeze

some things I would like to be doing on a quiet sunday morning:

I had a vanilla latte yesterday thanks to Jeremy, and I think the lady forgot to give me the skim milk and no foam I asked for. . .that being said it was incredibly yummy so I have no regrets. However, that is why I don't make lattes at home. I thought this pregnancy might produce my little bean baby (as in under 8 1/2 lbs.) but as each day goes by and I continue to stuff my face I laugh at myself because I am pretty sure I will end up in the same ballpark as the previous two. . .but ah I would take another of those lattes in a heartbeat this morning.

I also would like to devote some time to reading my actual bible instead of all the books that talk about the bible or are topical in nature even though spiritual in content. There is no substitute for the written Word of God. It just seems like I always reach for the closest book or the kids are demanding too much attention to really be able to focus in. This will need some work but there has been a lot of change around here lately so there is always hope.

last but not least there is nothing I would like better than to sit at my piano and worship. It changes my heart, my priorities, and very often my bad moods. I am so thankful for this outlet that draws me closer to my creator. I have been itching to try writing some more music but for now would be enough to have a few stolen moments at the keys that did not involve supermariobrothers music in the background. . .

Naming the moment

. . .trying to make sure all the bills get paid in this new location; that our address is changed on all our cards / accounts/ etc;  continuing to unpack boxes, move things here and there, organizing;  throwing longing looks at the piano on occasion. . .oh wait, what is this basketball someone put under my shirt??? huh, that's not a ball it's a baby! that's right, I seem to remember planning to have one more about nine months ago. hmm. what's that? he's ready to come out now??? you mean I will be in the labor and delivery wing of the hospital, then trying to put the carseat in right to take him home, and all that other newborn stuff? What do you mean I can't put my whole back seat down for trips to nee nee's? what's his name you ask??

shoot, deciding on a name must surely be on one of my to do lists somewhere. . .
ah yes, here we go. . .

1. pack hospital bag
2. charge camera battery and video camera battery
3. take friend boxes for her move
4. go to target for disposable wipes for the kids' bathroom
5. go to bible study (which was amazing. I move it to number one importance)
6. take trin back and forth from school
7. try not to lose it with blake when he whines
8. NAME THE BABY

ah! there it is. . .
with so much going on (and I know everyone has lots going on, I'm no special case) I was taken aback by a brief pre-labor session last night. My contractions picked up and I had quite a bit of back pain. I was thinking that if this was the real deal that I was NOT READY.  To clarify; I feel ready for the baby, minus of course the no name thing, but not so much for the pregnancy to be over. I am thinking it's my last and as he was wiggling around in there I realized that it would be hard for me to reconcile that these moments will so soon be gone.

I felt like I really needed to rest in the moment. almost like it deserved a name too (hence the title of the blog). I need to be trying harder to remember these last few pregnant days. I just want to revel in the blessing God gave me of carrying life. I know not everyone feels that way about pregnancy (for some it is a physical/mental/spiritual battle) but for me it has always been a special time. I was so eager to have trinity that I don't think I really enjoyed the end of that pregnancy, plus there was a move involved at that time as well. With blake I think I was able to savor the moment but it all passes too quickly and one forgets how it really feels to anticipate a baby's arrival and yet be saddened by the end of a very emotional experience. So I sit today in complete limbo, one part ready to have a baby and move on with a busy summer schedule and the other part screaming "hold on!, I still want to process, I feel like there is more I need to process". Which part wins?

well babies don't really let you dictate to them your desires so I guess the baby plan does. At least I have been able to sit and write for a moment. Sometimes that is enough of a process to help me move on. Now where did I put that name book???

Moved!

well we did it! I won't say this isn't the craziest way to end a pregnancy but being as it's the third time I've moved while pregnant I guess it's par for the course for me. Someone actually told me the other day that if I told them I was moving they would know I was pregnant again. ha! probably about right. I gotta say I am already loving the new house even though it is a disaster. There are many things to be decided, sorted, and put away. Problems I haven't had to deal with in previous houses (note the sarcasm) like a closet that can actually fit toys/dressers, (do I put them where they can play with them? do I leave everything out in the room like I am used to?) are giving me fresh options but adding to my "what to do" confusion. Even though I feel pretty good physically I find my brain just sort of turns of about 9:00 p.m. lol. Hence the terrible sentence a moment ago that you probably had to read three times to make sense of. I have begun weekly apt. for baby boy and now must drive trin to school from new location which means we all have to be up just a little bit earlier. So far so good and I am thankful. thankful. thankful. Here is a picture of a rainbow we had from a sunbreak on our first full day in the house. It reminds me of how blessed my life has been and continues to be. God is so faithful to me. Whatever comes next (painting) and after that (bringing home baby, death of all schedules, post partum blues, whatever) I know I can handle it one day at a time. . . and it's going to be fabulous.

The Lord does use Starbucks.

okay funny story. this is of course at my expense but when the Lord puts it in front of your nose like that you have to acknowledge a lesson learned right? some of you know that in order to fund a child through world vision I made the committment to not purchase ANY coffee for one year. I figured between my drinks and the chocolate milks and scones I was now expected to purchase for my eager beavers that it would total about the right amount per month needed. I won't say I have a perfect record but I have been good and with a few friends occasional generosity and mom/nat's when they visit I really haven't missed the coffees. Okay, except the other day when the sun finally came out and I wanted a frap SOOOOOO bad.
Alright, making a short story long here. . .so it's mothers day and jeremy buying me a coffee on the way to church is my present. Hey, I'm moving and about to have a baby, I don't have time to fuss about mother's day you know what I mean? get me coffee and to church on time and I am a happy woman.
In the drive through, the car in front of us has a snazzy vanity plate saying something about "putting on the fritz" and then basically advertising that particular winery. It's a nice white mercedes sedan and I can see the driver gesticulating to the barista and trying to give her a free drink coupon. For SOME reason (perhaps crazy pregnant hormones??) I start a rant about "why do rich people need coupons?" and "why don't you give that to the pregnant woman in the chrysler town and country that is moving the next weekend" and "look at that, I can't believe he is arguing with the woman about getting to use his rewards, how lame?" and blah. blah, blah. fast forward to my turn at the window when the barista lets me know what my NEW total is because the person ahead of me had PAID for one of my drinks.

oops.

The husband is nice enough NOT to laugh at me and manages to keep his amusement to a smirk. I feel properly chastised about my BAD 'tude and ask out loud as we pull out that the "Lord forgive me a poor and pathetic sinner my poor and pathetic behavior. . ." when I realized that I was probably supposed to PASS THE GOOD GIFT ON!!!! double whammie. double guilt. double confession. It's probably a good thing we got to church on time. Apparently, I needed some Holy Spirit intervention. lol

Trinity's concert take 2

Trinity's First Grade Concert

De-nile aint just a river baby!

We are moving in 2-3 weeks and I am going to have a baby in 4. I don't sleep well, my feet are starting to swell and I can't stop contemplating the possibility of having to sign closing documents on our house en-route to the labor and delivery. Will I have a chance to unpack? to paint the few rooms I need to? I am going to be out of the house every morning this week for appointments/ bibles study/ school concerts / etc. In the afternoon I plan to pack boxes here and there. Right now my focus is enjoying the last of this pregnancy. Most thoughts of labor/delivery, nursing, and the first few weeks with our new little guy I am strictly trying to ignore. The move is somewhat taking precedance because there are things to be done (address changes, internet, cable, garbage, etc./ not to mention that we will have to drive trinity the extra 15 min each day so she can finish out her school year at her current elementary) but I just try to remind myself one thing at a time. I am all smiles out and about but at home I let the stress get to me a little more. I want to cry for no reason sometimes. All pregnant women understand this. Anyway, I am going to keep floating down my river and assume that the move will go great, driving trinity will be a breeze (it will most likely, simply means being ready 20 min earlier), I will go into labor on my due date, deliver a 7 lb.er fabulous nurser/sleeper and will have come up with the perfect name for him, and that my other two children will be nothing but helping hands and loving siblings, perfectly behaved and ready to help mommy with whatever tasks asked of them. Certainly that run on sentence is not too much to ask? Not only that but my husband will miraculously know how to fold the laundry whatever way the new closets require and be perfectly willing to take all the night feedings since "he was up anyway". la la la lalala. . .pick your favorite denial song and sing along! =)

Awana Awards

Trinity finished her second year of sparks this week. She is a great girl who welcomes learning about her faith with abandon and sincerity. I love her for it. Also a few pics of blake who sat through this years ceremony MUCH better than last year. (whew). Lastly the pics of our celebratory dinner at Taco *Yak. How I keep getting dragged there I do not know.

 ooo look

 we earned the same thing!

 one in a million (well 170 anyway)

 hi mom!

 show me excited! okay show me less excited. . .

 okay, that's closer. . .

 is this thing over yet!? (oh yeah, that would be daddy playing angry birds)

 it's crazy time (blake has been avoiding pictures, I'm beginning to wish trin would too)

 closer,  closer. . .

 a little too close!

ah blake finally joins the shot. yay?