Death with Dignity

Last week my uncle passed away. He was a salesman/grocery store rep most of the time I knew him but who he really was was a loving devoted uncle that made beautiful furniture. I still have four of the pieces he made. I am loathe to get a new dining room table because every day we eat at the one he made. It's too small now that we are a family of five but it will never be gotten rid of. It will always have a place in my home. Over the last few years we have watched Jeremy's grandparents on his moms' side both pass on. His Grandpa died at home with the care of his wife and children. His Grandma went into the hospital for pneumonia and never came out, but her children were by her side the couple of months it took as she slowly declined. It was a difficult experience but they wouldn't trade it for that time of connection and loving and loss. In much the same manner my aunt has almost single-handedly cared for my Uncle as he withdrew more and more and became less and less himself. He suffered from Alzheimer disease. It wasn't easy to do this, I can't imagine the toll on her, but she finished the task. She was there as he breathed his last after a three day vigil. Her sons there as well and by her side as they said goodbye to my precious Uncle Jim. This picture is heartrending to me but also beautiful. We fear this process so much but it is inevitable. The last story I have is that of my paternal grandmother who cared for my grandfather for MONTHS only to leave the room for a moment and miss his passing. I don't know if that mattered or was even in the consciousness of my grandfather but to her I'm sure it must have been terrible. Surely it would be easier to support helping ending these lives; once these people become shells of themselves, and gasp with each breath. Wouldn't it be better to release them from the prison of their ravaged bodies. But if we truly examine ourselves as Christians, was there ever a time in our life where we saw great growth and spiritual vivacity, and everything in our world was perfect? Likely not. The way to growth is most often through suffering. Suffering breaks us. It confirms what we already ascribe to. . .that we can't have peace in this life on our own.  The fact remains that we suffer when we care for a loved one in their last days! However, in God's great mercy there is a purpose and an INCREDIBLE joy that awaits us if we hold fast through the process of a loved ones death. Romans 8 talks about this future joy and glory:

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
 Rom 8:18
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.
 Rom 8:19
For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.
 Rom 8:20
Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope,
 Rom 8:21
the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.

Understanding and experiencing suffering broadens the spectrum between our existence here on earth and our heavenly future. How much more meaningful the freedom from death and decay when we have been intimately involved with it? This is a chance to "suffer for Christ' sake" not in the usual sense of enduring persecution but in the very powerful act of laying down your life for another. Much time, energy, stress, and sacrifice go into caring for a loved one but with the strength of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit, we make it a process that brings God glory.  Death with dignity becomes less to me about the will of the sick/dying (I don't want to be ignorant here, I know there are situations where the dying are one hundred percent aware as they approach death and entertain the option to end their life, nevertheless) and more about the loving actions of the family that take on the most demeaning of tasks with humility and a heart of service. Every moment might feel a nightmare but they resolutely act anyway. This is the part that brings warmth and dignity to the end of a life. Sometimes we loose loved ones before we know it. Accidents, suicide, miscarriages, so many ways to lose a life in the blink of an eye, but sometimes it's up to us to be there for that loved one we are losing. For those of you walking the path of caring for a parent or elderly family member be encouraged: this momentary affliction will be eclipsed WONDERFULLY and COMPLETELY by God's glory when we receive our inheritance as His sons and daughters. You are in the fire that refines. You will shine in the end. All for His glory. Thank you Grandma, Trudy, Debbie, and your siblings, Nana, Aunt Daundra, and Mike and Ken for making the most of the last days of your loved ones. You gave them dignity in death. May I be so devoted if it ever be my turn.

.