On Trusting

I need friends. I was prompted by a wonderful opening speaker at CBS last week to pray more consistently for Trinity to make bosom buddies. I would say it is her chief struggle in life at this point. On Saturday when we said our bedtime prayers I had a bit of a stunning revelation. I don't have any friends either. Say what?Apparently this is a matter we need to be in PRAYER for EACH OTHER about.It's time for me to set the example of transparency in my family. The children have huge feelings to express but have trouble articulating them. I have the words but fail to express mu struggles to my children. I'm not talking about burdening them, I'm talking about empzing with them.She overheard me telling this to my mom and said, "I heard that, mommy!" She sounded relieved and possibly even excited that her mom could actually relate to her struggles. In a previous post I mentioned that when I was in grade school I had similar struggles to Trinity but in the end how could they truly phase me when I had a twin sister and  built in best friend? I don't know how to help her because her experience and my experience are just going to be. ..different. Now before I hurt any of my dear ones in this area by sayin' I have no friends let me explain that there are several amazing ladies from our old church that I know I can still count on. Also, there have been new friends made that I very much enjoy visiting with. God has certainly not left me all by myself. Somehow though, I always feel like I  am a little to the side of a group of people already in place. Does that make sense? I have lived in this area for five years, where is my Diana? my Kindred Spirit? I am still waiting on her. Thank heavens for old friends who love me still today, I wouldn't trade them for the world but I am confessing I need a "now" friend too. Someone that will someday join the ranks of my old friends who know me best and who I adore in return.  It's hard to find that friend. My sweet friend Hannah recently moved to Texas and I feel like I am at square one again. As I see my daughter in a similar situation I realize that maybe I have been doing a lot of lip service about trusting lately while not owning up to my frustration with the Lord's holding pattern plan on friends for not only myself and my daughter, but my husband as well. We are all in our own ways hurting for friendships meaningful and fulfilling. I resolve to change this. I desire to lay it before the Lord with thanksgiving for the friends I have but hope for the friends that I know I will make.
Let me bring in another aspect of this concept. A home church. I grew up in a small church where almost all my friends attended from toddler-hood to, well, some are still there! I have all these wonderful memories of our friendships and everything we did together and I WANT that for my children. It wasn't perfect but it was profoundly blessed. When we first moved here we were blessed to join a church where God was meeting each of our needs individually. The women's ministry was amazing for me, the home group was fun and Jeremy actually had friends there, and of course the children thrived with the amazing teachers there and the Awana program. (I have the feeling there are too many "ands" in that sentence for proper english) I thought we were heading for the picturesque church "history" for my children that I didn't know I had been dreaming of until it was no longer there. The truth is that Trinity, Blake, and Isaac's history will look different from mine. I can't create for them the perfect church life. I kept hoping in our last two years of church-hopping that if we could just find the right one we would all find friends and everything would be in balance again. My children could thrive again. But. . .bottom line is, their experience is going to different from mine.They won't live in the same house all their lives like I did. (Trinity has already lived in three) Trinity keeps saying that she misses the "old church" and our "old life". It would be so easy for me to fall into the same thinking. Longing for the "good old days". But that would mean losing sight of what God is doing in the present. This is how I can help her. I have said several times these past few months "darling, yes I miss our friends too, I wish we were closer to nee nee and granda, our old church and all the fun we had but you know what? God has a plan for us and if we are stuck in the past we won't be open to what He has for the future". Darn but it's true!!! I could go back to any number of times in my history and wish for things to be "like then". I think I am in denial about it and I think it has been affecting my perspective on the churches we visit. So. ..why? What's the hold up? Why am I in the same boat as my eight year old? Seeking friends and not settled in a church family? God is up to something. Am I going to trust Him? I am letting go of all my preconceived EXPECTATIONS and putting my TRUST in  my creator who has plans only for my good, no matter how hard the journey. It's time to fess up, I think my family needs the Lord more than ever and I am so grateful that He knows it already. Lead us in the way everlasting, Father. We are yours.

Art and Science Night 2013

Trinity has worked very hard all week on her presentation for Art and Science night. This year she chose the question of How do Plants Absorb Water? She had to work late three nights in a row to get it done but she had a cheerful attitude throughout so I am very proud of her. 

 in front of her board

 she worked hard on this

 classmate zoe

 telling them about it

 examining a fish scale

 fish!

 playing with another classmates experiment

 Mrs. Kramer the school principal takes a look

 She is very complementary, noticing that trinity has matched her marker colors on her data chart to her flower colors. Trinity was able to tell her about the bid word/concept we learned about with this experiment: osmosis. However, Trin was more into telling her which color absorbed the fastest.

 our table neighbors volcano

 she kissed each one before we gave them away at the end of the night. She is so funny sometimes.

all the kids had artwork in the hall that earned them an honorable mention so that no one was left out

This is Trinity's awesome Seattle skyline!

Another Day in Motherhood

Yesterday I took the boys to get their hair cut for Easter. Isaac of course was on his second sucker when we left (he gets one WHILE his hair is getting cut so he sits still and heaven forbid he not get one when big brother does as we leave). I head over to a florist shop to get Trinity white carnations for her science project. You all know the one where food coloring gets up in the flower and changes it's color which proves that water goes through the entire plant? That one. The florist laughed and said her daughter did that in grade school and she is now in college. We chatted about how many kids I had (just three people) and how busy it kept me, yadda yadda. I head back to the van and Isaac fusses as I try to get him in his car seat. I notice his sucker is gone so I feel all around the back of him and under him in case he dropped it in the car seat before I placed him in it. No luck, so I just buckle him hoping that a half eaten sucker is not sitting on the nice florist's shop floor. We head to Target to knock out some more errands when I run into an old neighbor. I notice she has the same REI raincoat that Jer bought me. I see it everywhere now and get compliments all the time when I wear it. So funny. Of course I don't have my nice coat on but a hoodie. Ah well, you can't live life worrying about what people think of you. We say our hello and the boys and I move on. A few minutes later going down the storage aisle Blake exclaims "Mom, Isaac's sucker is stuck to your hood!". Oh, so that's where it went. Great. So what do I do? Have Blake peel it off, take a quick look at the fuzz amount stuck to it, and decide that it should get my fussy little guy through the store quite nicely. I give it to Isaac who promptly finishes it as I finish my errands. It's how I roll people, don't judge. If any of you ever walks past me and I notice a sucker on your back I promise not to laugh hysterically but to remove it and carry on as if nothing had happened. That's my mommies-have-enough-to-feel-bad/lame/awkward-about promise.

Stay tuned for my next adventure in motherhood wherein later that night I'm not entirely sure who acts more immaturely, my moody eight year old daughter or my husband. (let's just say they had different ideas about how to accomplish a science experiment- the eight year old won and the 35 year old MAY have pouted about it)

Last but not least your reality check for the day courtesy of PINTEREST. I may have been obsessing over a floor lamp I pinned. I found the shop selling it but they didn't have prices so I emailed. They are in Canada she replies, but the lamp is made and sold in Soho to the tune of $3,500. She hated to "lose a sale"but it might be better to order direct from them. Don't worry honey you aren't losing a sale just killing a dream. Lesson learned that any store without pricing probably expects their customers to not give a hoot what it costs. Also, the only chandelier I bothered pricing? $6,500. End of story.

5th

"Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath..."
Psalm 116:2

Little Red Hen

drum roll please!.. . .. ..........I give you Blake's kindergarten play! Of course only the grandparents are interested in the whole half hour but that's what the blog is for after all. For Blake's big part check out the first video minute 7.

Personal Growth through Joy

In bible study this question was posed to us:

In your own life, have you experienced more personal growth in times of joy or in times of sorrow? 

We are studying Ecclesiastes which of course follows a more sorrowful line of thinking and I was not surprised to hear the women of my groups responding each time that dealing with/walking through times of sorrow/trial had been their greatest times of personal growth. It seemed to work that way for Solomon as well or he would not have said "better is a house of mourning that a house of feasting". Soberness, sorrow, and grief all allow us to keep our priorities straight. We let go of many of the earthly things that encumber us and grab hold of our true hope as Christians. It helps us to press on, having an understanding that injustice has an expiration date. God is not unknowing of ANY circumstance. These things are hard for us to acknowledge in a world with so many sorrows.
   I sat there looking at my answer. joy. I really thought about my answer a long time before putting the pen to paper but in the end I still wrote it. joy. Having been raised in a Christian household I was familiar in my childlike mind with many deeper religious concepts. I will never forget the day I was 9 and thought I heard trumpets outside. I raced out with my arms open to the sky ready for Jesus to take me up to him in the clouds. Man that day had the perfect large,  majestically puffy white clouds in the sky. Exactly the sky you would expect to be raptured in. The celebrations of the Jewish feasts that we so often did with friends each year (Passover and Purim) gave me insight into the might works God has done for his people in the past and set my expectations for how a loving God rescues. Being in a childrens choir that ministered to homeless shelters opened my eyes to the fact that suffering is always right outside your door but you can do something about it. Missions trips that had really difficult physical and emotional things throughout them (ever start a period in rural China with no feminine products) blur into one amazing event where my sister and I were protected by a spirit of oppression that plagued the rest of our team as we performed music about Jesus in front of a Taiwanese temple. My sister and I were filled for some reason with only, joy. Days or particular bible studies that have led to a plateau like feeling in my faith. So many "it doesn't get better than this" moments with my Jesus who is so patient in teaching/growing me.
   In the times when friends suddenly die, when unexplained bad things have happened to undeserving people. . . so many funerals that I have sung at; these are the times when grief touches my world and brings me down. the suffering of innocent children. Worry, fear, doubt, and insecurity are internal things that come and go like waves when a fierce wind suddenly springs up. Of course there are dry seasons as well. Though I am not facing tragedy I always remember the pain of stagnant times in my walk. Feeling that God is far from me. In those times I wonder, but my faith holds. I cling to those foundational joy moments like a repeat on a favorite song. God is a deliverer. God is a healer. God is a restorer. Delivering my firstborn was a completely overwhelming experience; the first time I truly CRIED OUT to God to deliver me. Trinity was born in the next few minutes and I remember when Jeremy and the nurse took her briefly to the nursery I wept. God proved himself to me in that hour. Things could have gone differently but in his mercy he allowed me to deliver my child without emergency intervention and for that, I had joy. Have other women experienced it differently? Yes. Is their faith stronger because of it? I pray so. Was I thankful it was over either way? You betcha.
   So why did I feel awkward about sharing my answer? Because I haven't walked through the deep waters that many of these women have does that make my faith weaker? Am I that house built on sand that when the flood waters rise I will be washed away? If I go through tragedy firsthand, lose a child or my husband or anyone close to me; if I get cancer or a loved one must go through a prolonged illness that ravages, will my faith stand? When I think this way I almost feel like I am waiting for "the other shoe to drop", but we do not have a God that puts us through trial for no purpose. I must be humble because I know it is only by His grace that I have not experienced those manners of trial/grief/suffering. Most of all I believe I must be joyful. I refuse to borrow trouble and wonder "what if?" . That is not living the life God has called me to live. I do not live in fear of what I may have to go through and what it might do to my faith.  I think that's why I love any verses about God establishing us! Psalm 90 says "may the favor of our Lord God rest upon us, establish the work of our hands", and Romans 16:25 that says "now to Him who is able to establish you by my gospel and the proclamation of Jesus Christ". I love the idea that God's plan has been established from the beginning. It will be accomplished. No matter how contrary that may feel to the circumstances we go through.
Luke 10:21-26
21 At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. 22 "All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him." 23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, "Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24 For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it."

-I live understanding that I am blessed to "see" and to "hear". This is the bottom line. It's okay to answer joy. Yes, laughter may be sweeter after mourning, but it is sweet just the same.

Penguin Classics shoot me now.

Some of you may remember my mention in this post: http://divineyfamily.blogspot.com/2013_01_01_archive.html
that I was considering attempting to read (in my hopefully long life) the entire collection of Penguin Classics, which number over 2,000. Well I printed the entire list of books the other night (about 28 pages) and was able to cross off 58. I don't know if that is bad or good for the average reader but let me tell you something, that list is DAUNTING. There are MAJOR works of philosophy, history, and over 100 "collected" books of poetry. That's not just one novel, or one poem, but COMPLETE WORKS. Always the fool, I figured I might still go for it. What can it hurt but that I keep one in rotation at all times? There will still be other books I want to read as well as the constant bible studies I take part in and would never give up. I would never feel qualified to write reviews on all these books so don't worry they won't be taking over the blog. I started thinking about making my own blog about the saga and earning something on the side maybe, or even writing Penguin publishing and asking if they would "give" me the entire collection for like a "Guinness Book of Records" sort of thing. That would be Uh-Mazing! I think however, that as a busy wife and mother I am just going to stick to the task quietly and effectively. I have already hit the problem in my rules I came up with that I would avoid buying something; one of the first five titles I searched was not available at my library but was on Amazon. Going to try to find other free ways to source those harder to find titles.

Full Freedom

"Daily discipline is the door to full freedom" - Ann Voskamp

For my spiritual life this is so true. Nothing brings me closer to the Lord than a moment in prayer or reading or studying of His Word. It is in time with my savior that I not only "feel" free but begin to understand bit by bit the fact that my spirit IS FREE - and seated in the heavenly realms with Jesus. I haven't felt very free the past two weeks as my children and I have fought sickness after sickness. With our bodies dragging us down the usual daily discipline becomes the how many hours since their last dose of Ibuprofen schedule. As a mother you get upset seeing your children go day after day with little improvement. Whenever my children are sick it makes me thank the Lord over and over that they are not suffering from a terminal or lingering illness. My heart goes out to all the mommies that have dealt with or are dealing with such situations. Trinity still complains of her stomach enough that I told her if it isn't better after a week we will have to take her in for a look at. She has never displayed any food sensitivity before but if it isn't a flu bug causing it I just don't know what else it might be. She stresses a lot so maybe an ulcer? (that's supposed to be a joke but doesn't look so funny to me now). God was merciful to me in that Isaac got better when I got worse so sick mommy was blessed with a happy baby that wasn't too clingy. For the most part Trinity and Blake keep each other company well when they are under the weather, this too is a blessing and mercy. I was by Gods' grace able to look into my bible study this week and He always has such a timely word to encourage me. Today was in Ecclesiastes. I was so impressed by chapter 3:14-15. It was like God reaching out saying "throughout my Word, there is evidence that I have sought YOU". In my ESV it reads like this:

"I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."
Isn't that dreamy? the lines in themselves are so poetic. . .God in his omniscience and omnipresence seeing all that has been, is, and will be - seeks what has been driven away. . .could that be mankind? could that be me? Amazing Grace how sweet the sound. This got me so excited I had to look it up in other versions which immediately burst my bubble. Do you ever go to study eager to share what feels like a great insight until someone gives you a deeper look than your surface reading and you go, oh yeah, missed that one? lol. You can see from the versions below that there is a wide range of interpretations that got me straight up confused on what the last line (MY line) in particular meant. I found the commentary at the end helpful to getting to the essential point of the passage which is basically a reiteration that God alone knows all and mankind never has, can, or will.  If you notice the message simply says "that's how it always is with God".
I'm not ready to be done with the idea that this scripture could be seen illustrating the time frame of God's redemption. After all that is the hope to which we are called and I daresay Jesus would say my take on it counts too. Oh wow, I so did NOT just put words in the mouth of Christ. . .
Thank you Lord, for the time to look deeper into your word. Thank you that you always multiply my time when I am really focused on you and are teaching me to open the door of daily discipline to full freedom. (if you haven't read 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp you should, it will explain this phenomena much better than I can) Thank you that I live in America where doctors and medicine are available. Just,  thank you!

p.s. can anyone enlighten me on how often you have to or even should capitalize "You" when you are talking to God???

*****UPDATE 4/7 - the teacher added that when it says God "seeks the things of the past" it might be best put into the context of Solomon's subject of righteous and wicked living and injustice as the wicked "seem" to prosper. God will judge the living and the dead and no injustice goes unnoticed by Him.

Compare Translations for Ecclesiastes 3:15

Compare Translations

Ecclesiastes 3:15 NIV

New International Version

Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 NIV  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 NIV in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3:15 ASV

American Standard Version

That which is hath been long ago; and that which is to be hath long ago been: and God seeketh again that which is passed away.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 ASV  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 ASV in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3:15 BBE

Bible in Basic English

Whatever is has been before, and what is to be is now; because God makes search for the things which are past.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 BBE  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 BBE in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3:15 CEB

Common English Bible

Whatever happens has already happened, and whatever will happen has already happened before. And God looks after what is driven away.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 CEB  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 CEB in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3:15 KJV

King James Version

That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past .

Read Ecclesiastes 3 KJV  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 KJV in parallel  |  Interlinear view

Ecclesiastes 3:15 NKJV

New King James Version

That which is has already been, And what is to be has already been; And God requires an account of what is past.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 NKJV  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 NKJV in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3:15 NLT

New Living Translation

Whatever exists today and whatever will exist in the future has already existed in the past. For God calls each event back in its turn.

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Ecclesiastes 3:15 MSG

The Message

Whatever was, is. Whatever will be, is. That's how it always is with God.

Read Ecclesiastes 3 MSG  |  Read Ecclesiastes 3:15 MSG in parallel  

Ecclesiastes 3 Commentary - Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Concise)

Chapter 3

The changes of human affairs. (1-10) The Divine counsels unchangeable. (11-15) The vanity of worldly power.(16-22)

Verses 1-10 To expect unchanging happiness in a changing world, must end in disappointment. To bring ourselves to our state in life, is our duty and wisdom in this world. God's whole plan for the government of the world will be found altogether wise, just, and good. Then let us seize the favourable opportunity for every good purpose and work. The time to die is fast approaching. Thus labour and sorrow fill the world. This is given us, that we may always have something to do; none were sent into the world to be idle.

Verses 11-15 Every thing is as God made it; not as it appears to us. We have the world so much in our hearts, are so taken up with thoughts and cares of worldly things, that we have neither time nor spirit to see God's hand in them. The world has not only gained possession of the heart, but has formed thoughts against the beauty of God's works. We mistake if we think we were born for ourselves; no, it is our business to do good in this life, which is short and uncertain; we have but little time to be doing good, therefore we should redeem time. Satisfaction with Divine Providence, is having faith that all things work together for good to them that love him. God doeth all, that men should fear before him. The world, as it has been, is, and will be. There has no change befallen us, nor has any temptation by it taken us, but such as is common to men.

p.p.s a BIG THANK YOU TO BIBLE STUDY TOOLS. COM for the reference material and versions used in this post.

Vids

Kid Catch-up time. Here are a couple of vids. The first is of Blake and Isaac enjoying some brotherly game time and the second shows off Isaac's prowess with the kindle.