Stretching the Boundaries

Just a thought for today. . . have you ever tried to do more than God has called you to? What did that look like for you? When did you realize you had gotten off the path or perhaps stretched the boundaries of the task given you? I have been reflecting the past few days on my gifting in music. The Lord has always made it so clear that worship in women's/children's ministry is where I should be using it and He has always opened a door to it. When I had trinity I was the most active I have ever been in ministry, at Calvary Chapel Spokane in their women's bible study. Thank heavens Jeremy basically didn't work that year (what am I saying!? . . .but it's true) because I kept BUSY. lol. Then we moved and I had Blake but I had found an amazing church and was back singing (even using my tambourine!) by the time he was three months. I even got to sing in choir for a bit before my "year of affliction" forced me to stop. Then I had Isaac and we moved again (not that far but far enough to look for a new home church) and since last summer (we're going on a year) I really haven't been playing or singing at all in any leadership/team capacity. It was odd to attend a bible study where I wasn't involved with the music! It was also a bit liberating to just be able to show up and focus on the study. In my reflections on my times in ministry I was looking at not just the musical aspects but also the leadership side of my growth. I actually led worship for a retreat and then headed a small group three years running. I made several blunders in these newer areas of leadership. For example, I did a devotional once that I had an AWESOME outline for which I promptly left at home, and the tidbits I remembered ended up coming out all wrong. I always speak before I think and I am too eager to share every thought that crosses my mind. I have also shared songs that have fallen flat because I think I was just so excited about something that moved me that I forced it in whether it was relevant or not. I especially have to be careful in areas I have no experience. Like Timothy, I shouldn't be quiet just because I am young (I am still young right? I mean, my parents are still around and everything so I'm still a kid to someone) but I think I should go straight to the scriptures and not let my flapping tongue offer my "sage" advice (which is usually based on the first impression from someones sharing and may not even be the full story, etc). There are women GOING THROUGH THINGS. I mean, "wow" type things and if I have learned anything from trying to be a "leader", it's that you are never prepared enough. I often wondered what I had gotten myself into as I searched for the right words or course of action. I realized that though I have the "wise woman" front down pat from years of church "experience" I am really wet behind the ears still. The wonderful thing is, even in most of my mistakes God has put someone in the room that was blessed regardless of my botching of whatever I was sharing. That makes me thankful and humble.
All of this to say: I am praying for a few people lately who have taken on new roles of leadership. I am praying that God will grow them into their new ministry and also that they are approaching it with right hearts and open ears/eyes. I pray that they will be steeped in scriptures and strive to offer their best. That they will be hungry to share the love of God and that God will fill them with His Holy Spirit, making them powerful and effective witnesses for His kingdom. I hope someone is praying this for me as well. When I look back on some of my questionable forays into leadership I feel like maybe I was aspiring to more than God had called me. Perhaps because it was more about "me" than it was about Him I found myself stretching the boundaries for selfish and vain reasons. That is why I also pray for my loved ones in leadership that they would be honest about their motivation, and serious (sober minded) in doing the Lord's work. I'm ready to get back to my music but I am still waiting on God's timing. This is the longest I have stepped away from my music ministry to focus on a new baby. It's a team effort when you have three kids; my husband has to watch them to free me to play/sing so I am also praying for Jeremy's full support.  Sometimes I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface of what God is calling me to and that is exciting. Music is my gift and my calling. Whether leadership is part of that or not I pray God will make clear to me case by case, moment by moment because I firmly believe nothing turns out worse than when you try to lead where you aren't called to.

Ephesians 4: 11-13
¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

James 3

  Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. ² For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. ³ If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. ⁴ Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. ⁵ So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7
 ⁴ Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; ⁵ and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; ⁶ and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. ⁷  To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.