Death with Dignity

Last week my uncle passed away. He was a salesman/grocery store rep most of the time I knew him but who he really was was a loving devoted uncle that made beautiful furniture. I still have four of the pieces he made. I am loathe to get a new dining room table because every day we eat at the one he made. It's too small now that we are a family of five but it will never be gotten rid of. It will always have a place in my home. Over the last few years we have watched Jeremy's grandparents on his moms' side both pass on. His Grandpa died at home with the care of his wife and children. His Grandma went into the hospital for pneumonia and never came out, but her children were by her side the couple of months it took as she slowly declined. It was a difficult experience but they wouldn't trade it for that time of connection and loving and loss. In much the same manner my aunt has almost single-handedly cared for my Uncle as he withdrew more and more and became less and less himself. He suffered from Alzheimer disease. It wasn't easy to do this, I can't imagine the toll on her, but she finished the task. She was there as he breathed his last after a three day vigil. Her sons there as well and by her side as they said goodbye to my precious Uncle Jim. This picture is heartrending to me but also beautiful. We fear this process so much but it is inevitable. The last story I have is that of my paternal grandmother who cared for my grandfather for MONTHS only to leave the room for a moment and miss his passing. I don't know if that mattered or was even in the consciousness of my grandfather but to her I'm sure it must have been terrible. Surely it would be easier to support helping ending these lives; once these people become shells of themselves, and gasp with each breath. Wouldn't it be better to release them from the prison of their ravaged bodies. But if we truly examine ourselves as Christians, was there ever a time in our life where we saw great growth and spiritual vivacity, and everything in our world was perfect? Likely not. The way to growth is most often through suffering. Suffering breaks us. It confirms what we already ascribe to. . .that we can't have peace in this life on our own.  The fact remains that we suffer when we care for a loved one in their last days! However, in God's great mercy there is a purpose and an INCREDIBLE joy that awaits us if we hold fast through the process of a loved ones death. Romans 8 talks about this future joy and glory:

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
 Rom 8:18
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.
 Rom 8:19
For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.
 Rom 8:20
Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope,
 Rom 8:21
the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.

Understanding and experiencing suffering broadens the spectrum between our existence here on earth and our heavenly future. How much more meaningful the freedom from death and decay when we have been intimately involved with it? This is a chance to "suffer for Christ' sake" not in the usual sense of enduring persecution but in the very powerful act of laying down your life for another. Much time, energy, stress, and sacrifice go into caring for a loved one but with the strength of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit, we make it a process that brings God glory.  Death with dignity becomes less to me about the will of the sick/dying (I don't want to be ignorant here, I know there are situations where the dying are one hundred percent aware as they approach death and entertain the option to end their life, nevertheless) and more about the loving actions of the family that take on the most demeaning of tasks with humility and a heart of service. Every moment might feel a nightmare but they resolutely act anyway. This is the part that brings warmth and dignity to the end of a life. Sometimes we loose loved ones before we know it. Accidents, suicide, miscarriages, so many ways to lose a life in the blink of an eye, but sometimes it's up to us to be there for that loved one we are losing. For those of you walking the path of caring for a parent or elderly family member be encouraged: this momentary affliction will be eclipsed WONDERFULLY and COMPLETELY by God's glory when we receive our inheritance as His sons and daughters. You are in the fire that refines. You will shine in the end. All for His glory. Thank you Grandma, Trudy, Debbie, and your siblings, Nana, Aunt Daundra, and Mike and Ken for making the most of the last days of your loved ones. You gave them dignity in death. May I be so devoted if it ever be my turn.

.

For the Life of the World - a sort of review, but not really

For the Life of the World: Letters to the Exiles

is a 7 part DVD series from Acton Institute and the boys of Jars of Clay

I suppose you would call it a worldview rumination- the seven parts are:

1. Exile

2. Love

3. Creative Service

4. Order

5. Wisdom

6. Wonder

7. Church

It's quite a quircky/hipster series. It is put together creatively with a nod to retro themes but a focus on modern culture and our relevance/purpose as Christian's within it. I think some adults would enjoy it and hopefully some youth. I might offer it up to the youth pastor when I'm done watching them as a teaching resource. I could see them provoking some good discussion.

Today I watched the part on Love.  He gave us very relevant facts that pointed out little to no difference between "church" peoples and secular divorce and pre-marital sex stats. This I knew but it is still a little shocking to ponder how close they are. 

He talked about God being relational. The triune God has the ability within himself to relate and so we have a dualism. On R. C. Sproul's radio broadcast this week a guest teacher was talking about how no other religion holds to a God capable of that. Not Allah, who is described as an all encompassing ONE, obviously not atheists, and also not the religions that say we are all "one". You know, the whole "we are God and God is us" sort of thinking so prevalent in modern spirituality.  The video sort of refers to the debate that surrounds marriage equality but avoids any direct stance or mention. I believe by its' very nature of saying God made man and woman to form a connection that was meant to be "turned outward" to the family it raises and community it lives in, that they are affirming traditional marriage. I think it would be fair to say the interaction we prize in the doctrine of the Trinity is continued and reflected by marriage. Also and more obviously the relationship of Christ to the church who are referred to repeatedly in the scriptures as the bridegroom and the bride.

Also, on the radio today doctor Albert Molher was stressing the importance of marriage as not only a contract but a covenant entered into. The purpose of it? to minimize sin. We live in a fallen world, and our God-given desires are warped by our sin nature. Marriage is a chance to sanctify and minimize the effect of that nature. I always tell myself something I heard early in my marriage, "you are his only legitimate resource". Physical intimacy is designed by God so we might cultivate a family and bless a community by providing what should be considered the very foundation of society, a stable family unit. Love is at the heart of God's economy. It is shown by Christs' willingness to enter a family and to show love and respect for that unit though it is often so flawed. Even tragic. A recurring theme to this series is found in it's title, that all this (in part 2's case the purpose of marriage) is for "the Life of the World". I don't know that I will post thoughts on each part of the series, it just seemed like too many things this week pointed to the subject of marriage to not take notice. (I'm listening God)

New Year, New Oppurtunities

It's that sort of day. The kind you want to do so many things at once you need three of yourself. I'm slowly gathering all the Christmas items to put away before the weekend arrives and having the kids write thank yous for presents, That should really wrap up the holiday season. I'm feeling the urge to blog and write some songs! So many little thoughts, I need to start using my voice memos on my phone and record them so I can put them into proper shape and blog them, duh! Otherwise (what usually happens) is a large spewing of thoughts and ideas with no particular order. Aha! I just found my New Year's Resolution, "capture the moment" and "use time wisely".
So this post is pre-resolution hee hee. You're going to get the full mommy brain version. I mean today I went into the post office to mail a package, forgot my wallet, went back out for the wallet, mailed the package, went back to the car. . .and realized another letter I meant to throw in the box was still in my hand. . . .yeah. . .that brain.
Let's think back to last years resolutions and hair-brained ideas.
Making the most of Trinity:
God be praised there has been growth socially and academically. This year we'll REALLY have to focus on behavior and one of the big decision we have made in that area is to homeschool. 6th grade is a crazy formative year and I intend to make the most of it. She is brimming with potential and I want to unlock it to the best of my ability. So thankful to the teachers and close friends that have built up her confidence tremendously in the last three years. I would like to continue finding the good in the difficult and I think this year will strengthen our mother-daughter bond to a new level.
Blake the Contrarian (is that a word):
Not much change here. That is frustrating to say the least but it just gives me more motivation for this year. Best intentions are never a bad thing but I failed by about June to consistently implement my own objectives and so many of our issues remain the same. He is playing basketball right now and got a circuit playset for Christmas that has captivated him. He has declared video games "boring" right after dropping $40 of his own money on a game Isaac had broken years ago that He had wanted to replace for some time. I would think someone has replaced him with a robot Blake except for his impulsive nature which remains intense, fully human, and a very interesting parenting challenge.
Isaac the Great:
Has made the most progress! He is just a sponge. I struggled so much with the thought of putting him in preschool, it was something I had never felt the need for with the older two and I balked at the idea BIGTIME. I think there may have been tears shed. In may he was diagnosed with ASD. Next month we might finally begin his ABA (Autism Specific) therapy. I can't wait to see what changes this brings as he is already so bright and happy. I expect great things. We potty trained him around his birthday, he is still a picky eater, and still charms everyone. Things seem pretty on track really for him.
Jeremy my hot man: (or so he put himself in my contact list years ago)
Not sure I had much resolutions for Jer. We do pretty well. =) He spent much of the end of the year having an office space in his same building renovated to his speculations. There are now twelve employees in it.  Four customer service reps are in a separate office in Philadelphia run by Jer's longest running employee Kristen. Things continue to make progress and Jer as always has eyes and ears open for new projects. He is currently trying to decide on what new car to lease when his Volt is up in April, lol. I would love to get away with him to the ocean at some point this year but then again the beach seems like no fun without presents. Did I say presents? I have no idea where that came from, Boy you get distracted by Downton Abbey for one minute and your subconscious exposes your true state. I meant kids.

and I plan to continue throwing a penguin classic in there now and then. I think I read about 10 from the list. At this rate I will need to live past one hundred to accomplish the goal. hee hee

Ice Skating!

We took Trinity ice skating for the first time. She loved it! It was CRAZY funny to skating again at the same ice rink I took lessons at at age 6. The Spokane Chiefs were practicing on Rink 2. That took me back as well because when I was a teenager we went to the Chiefs games weekly. Ohh they were hotties then, now they look like BABIES and MY baby is ten years old and trying out the ice. Eee Gads.

in the penalty box. . .

penalty box again

ah, a boy and his dogs

Christmas 2014 - mom and dads

Mom's decor is always over the top. My friend Laura was visiting and said "I keep seeing something new everytime I look around and it's ALL christmas!" she even told her husband to "use the bathroom" just to see how decked out it was, lol. Mom knows just how to make her house feel just right and super special when we come for the holidays. I look forward to discovering new treasures every year.

. . .and that is just a taste of all the special things you see when you come to my moms house.

Now time for present opening, special meals, ice skating, sledding, etc. 

 nice to see they are still delight-able 

hand made mini crossbow

I may have to appropriate this shirt I love it so much. . .

someone got hair chalks for Christmas . . .

Laura and Eric stopped buy to share some Alex time with us

Some of those were from Christmas eve where we opened presents just our immediate family, and the rest were from Christmas morning.