Guardrails

At church we have been discussing Guardrails for our lives. Guardrails are hard boundaries that we set up in order to live healthy, wise, and righteous lives. Some of the topics included boundaries with unhealthy people in your life, or what happens if you ARE the unhealthy person; but today's focus was the gift of SEX (yeah I wrote it) and the spiritual connection it creates that must be protected at all costs. Within marriage or not, young or old, the power of sex is evident and must be treated as the spiritual reality that it is, ordained by God for the lasting spiritual and physical union of two people who become one. The awareness of our sexual nature is being pushed on children of younger and younger ages through all forms of media. Sometimes I am tempted to get rid of all of it but since realistically that will not be happening soon I have to start setting some boundaries. Especially for my nine year old daughter. Too young? I think not. Have some of you noticed the second skin "leggings" so popular on the young girls? Perhaps you even have girls who wear them. I'm not judging, heaven knows that they are an accepted form of clothing these days and common all over the area but lets be honest. Me, a married, 32 year old woman can sometimes not take my eyes off these girls' rear ends. If I can't stop looking you'd better believe that the men can't. I dread the day Trinity tries to bring some home. I just CAN'T.  In our house yoga pants with looser rears and flared bottoms are allowed solo with a t-shirt. Legging must have a skirt over them. Trinity does not always respond well to this rule. I've had to deal with sass but thank heavens she gives in and wears the skirts. In fact today she came down with one without my even mentioning it. BTW there are ADORABLE skirts out there that are very practical for playground play. Trust me. The purpose of this is to begin to help Trinity realize that at some point, boys are going to notice her body and (still being honest) she is going to want to flaunt it. Not much feels as good as walking out the door feeling like you look particularly hot. I don't think that's just a girl thing either. I remember well my sixteen year old self in a certain black velvet pair of overalls (totally dating myself. ..) that I felt ALL the boys liked and so. . . I wore them to death. Also a particular turtleneck paired with tight fighting black bib skipants that I was pretty sure turned me into dark haired Aspen barbie. Oh the tricks a confident young mind can play! I was actually barely five feet and had that trait most peculiar to hobbits of thick patches of  dark hair on my toes. Yes people, I shave my toes along with my legs. . .you don't? What is the point of these embarrassing glances back? I was aware of how I looked and I used it. How do I guide Trinity to a level of modesty that might safeguard her from the pitfalls of youthful games of attraction? Is taht even possible? You got me but you better believe I'm going to try. Our pastor spoke of beginning the conversation at a young age not so much about the dangers or details of sexual involvement but the components of a healthy relationship, particularly if you have it; your marriage. The other day I had finished a workout and was feeling the endorphins. I decided to put on snug, COMFY, leggings and a sweathshirt that did NOT cover my tushy PRECISELY because I knew Jeremy would like it. When Trin noticed it she said that I wasn't allowed to wear them without covering my tush. I explained to her that I was not planning to leave the house. In this house even mommy does't leave it without her tush covered if she has leggings on, folks. She seemed to think that different strokes for different folks was not good enough and that she shouldn't have to abide by rules that I didn't. That's when I got honest with her. I told her that I put the pants on SPECIFICALLY to entice her daddy because one: we are within the bonds (boundaries) of marriage and two: we like to please each other in that way (not sexual details people, just the laws of attraction) Obviously, neither of these categories apply to her and therefore, the skirt must be worn. Now I am not trying to make Trinity a prude but rather to plant that seed of modesty that might one day bloom into a young girl secure in her self-confidence without the desire to put too much out there too soon. In any way, shape, or legging. I felt it a victory to have a conversation that discussed some of the pleasures of sexuality while still impressing on her the need for appropriate boundaries for certain ages groups. Leggings may not be your hot button but if you are the parents of little ones I encourage you to start thinking NOW about the things you see in the current youth culture that don't line up with the boundaries you would like set for your child's physical, emotional, and SPIRITUAL well-being in the teen years and beyond. Start working on them now and setting those boundaries because you had better believe if you just drop them from out of nowhere your kid will rebel but if they are born out of a loving and invested relationship, they stand a chance of holding.