Being in Christ I am new every moment. Yay! I just noticed that the last post of December was my 300th post since opening this blog. Amazing. The blog has been neglected lately. Why? I wish I could tell you. Not really sure except that the days just keep going by and I have pulled away a little; just been involved in my own world, but I think it's time for a good share. Many of you have read my posts that discuss parenting and the current triumphs and battles I face daily as a mother. In the New Year I committed to setting goals for each of my children specific to their needs at this time in their life. I haven't actually done it for the boys but a light bulb went off for Trin and I the other day. We have been struggling as mother and daughter. There is a lack of respect shown from her that I have seen building throughout her childhood so far. It is her nature to need the absolute last word which is usually her final sassy comeback of many such. The other day I actually told my husband that I couldn't think of anything nice to say about her. He was a little upset by that and I was coming from an emotionally defeated place but in that moment I really felt it was true. Yes she has an attitude problem, but it struck me that I had to take my share of the responsibility for my feelings about her, and thank God they are JUST feelings. I've decided that 2014 is the year of cultivating thankfulness for my daughter Trinity. Using the method laid out by Ann Voskamp in her 1,000 Gifts book, I am making special note of all the things I am thankful for about her. I KNOW that this will change my attitude towards her as we progress through the year. Driving home after dropping her off at gymnastics the other day, I prayed to the Lord, thanking Him for her strong emotions (the top of my list of frustrations). I acknowledged that I need wisdom to guide her into maturity and not suppress these feelings but teach her how to use them in a healthy way. They could be the generating force of an incredibly strong young woman, with deep conviction, and full-hear-ted faith in Christ. Today my prayer is that I will enjoy her goofy nature. You know when a person tries ten times a day to be funny and you just don't think it's funny it might not be their fault every time. So it was "Lord. help me to appreciate the humor you have given my daughter, not to go to that eye-roll but to give the smile that reassures. . " You get the idea. I am so thankful for my study in Hebrews which has opened my eyes to the defeatist spirit I have been struggling with. I needed to put a finger on that feeling and now I will be looking for it and ready to cling to the courage and hope the Lord offers. Faith is truly lived in loving one another. I look forward to discovering what the Lord would have me work on for my sons' behalf.
These photos were taken at trinity's orthodotic evaluation. Being in the emotional place that I was at the time I thought they would do nicely for the mug shots she will certainly receive should she continue on her current path of behavior. Oh my goodness it's too much! =)
Trinity as I see her when not ruled by my feelings. Happy, Silly, Brilliant, Joyful, Caring and a million other things that I haven't yet recognized and look forward to realizing.
Psalm 127:3 "Behold, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward"
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