Inspiration

I know somewhere down not far in the past is a post called motivation, well this one is inspiriation and frankly, I am in need of both. But first, lets catch up on the kiddos. I've been wanting to jot this down because Isaac like all babies is changing so fast. Trinity moved up into a higher age bracket in gymnastics and is now with her bff. She is on cloud nine for sure. We are two months into 3rd grade and though she still struggles with test taking her comprehension is good so that pleases me. Now if we can find a way to help her "train her brain" for testing so she doesn't psych herself out we will be doing really well. Blake is loving kindergarten! I *think he is behaving really well and can't wait for his parent/teacher conference. The kid is super smart but plays it dumb so I am really curious to see how he does in school with some real motivation.
He is being a little more responsive to discipline and direction which is a real blessing since the "fours" completely exasperated me. He is also taking a bite of every dinner I make, even if it's two grains of rice. Some of you are not familiar with our battle over Blake's picky eating but if you were you would understand this is major progress. Isaac is 16 mo and now runs instead of walks around the house. He is developing Blake's picky eating habits and I am frantically trying to find savory things that he likes besides empty carbs. He has 8 teeth now, two top and his top molars and the four bottom front. He is starting to assert his will and falls on the floor or screams when he doesn't get his way. He says "see you" (peekaboo), thank you (what he uses for "please"), uh-oh, and momma. He can be ridiculously adorable. As for me, when Isaac turned 1 I started working out again. Did great for about three months then stopped for almost two (you can see my patterns of motiviation here) and now have been walking/jogging at least three times a week for a month again. I have been taking advantage of the 45 min between when Isaac gets up from his nap (I push him in the stroller) and the kids get off the school bus. Now that fall/winter weather is setting in I will have to go back to fitting it into his nap time because he won't let me when he is up. I have really enjoyed using his nap time for more exciting things so lets hope the habit of the past 27 days motivates me to keep going. Something else in the back of my mind is that I want to start teaching Trinity and Blake piano. I also want to pick up the guitar. By that I mean play it of course.
Now that we have caught up let's get back to that little thing called inspiration.

in·spi·ra·tion

noun

1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.

2. something inspired, as an idea.

3. a result of inspired activity.

4. a thing or person that inspires.

5. Theology .

     a. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

     b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.

I have been wanting to write music again. Then I remember that I'm not totally happy with several of the older songs I wrote. Maybe I should go back? Then I focus on the old and don't create new. There has to be some momentum, so I can't just go back through songs over and over again.When I think about sitting down to write though, I find fear creeping in. "I won't be able to get anything out", "it won't be any good anyway", and  "who cares?" are some of the thoughts that plague me when I sit down with blank paper and pen. Along with those come more general doubts of my ability, my "stuckness" in a particular style of playing, and things like that. This week however I was able to make some progress. For the past two weeks this has been on my heart every day to try to get some lines down but it was only on Thursday I finally got out a piece of paper and started scribbling. It felt really good! I also found a few inspirational videos on YouTube to encourage me (there are great lesser-known groups out there with good music). Ultimately though, the thing that gave me the most hope about my desire to write was that God faithfully reminded me on Friday during my prayer time that HE is the original inspirer. (is that a word?) I don't have to struggle over words (geez, no pun intended *note question in last sentence) or beat my head on the table to come up with concepts but instead I can spend time in prayer, asking for inspiration. Now practice makes perfect it's true, there is something to the art of song-writing that requires time and effort and that will never change but what hope and joy I had giving my music to the Lord. I can testify that He has inspired me in the past and I fully believe He will again. Now when I get my paper out I refuse to be pressured by what I think or what others might think of what I write. If it's for God, and isn't everything supposed to be, then it will happen. I'm so excited to discover the music He has for me!