I love this girl but I gotta tell ya, she missed singing half the songs she was so busy watching everyone else! I continue to pray that she will outgrow her lack of focus but at the same time it's such a part of her it melts my heart even as it completely exasperates me!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Current pics
I have been terrible about taking pics of Isaac during his 8-9 months. Here is a little catch-up I did today. He had his 9 mo. apt. last week and he was 18 lb, 13 0z. (%25-50 for weight), and though I forgot the inches he was %90 for height. So tall and skinny. lol.The pediatrician called him "pretty perfect" and of course I agree.
cool hair
fave activity
bath baby
I have only just started sitting him in the tub and he goes WILD
trinity overcompensating for blinking on the last one
more chair pushing
I mean seriously?? is anything cuter?
nope
double nope
BAD hair. . .hee hee what an old man
don't know why the chair and bath shots got mixed together but whatev at least I got some pics up! =)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Between the Rains - Part 2
Okay so a few days have passed but not much contemplation has happened. Instead I got sick again. This cold/flu season has been hard on us this year. I think Trinity carries everything home but she doesn't get sick then Isaac gets it but he doesn't get it very bad with all the healthy stuff from still breastfeeding but then I get everything he does and I get it the worst. It's been a very tiring off and on pattern since halloween last fall. I see the light at the end of the tunnel though as the plants bud and warmer temperatures approach. This means that I must collect my thoughts as best as possible and share them with you anyway. Firstly I share the portion of scripture that I otherwise would have completely glossed over if Beth Moore hadn't pulled it out and blown my mind with it.
7 Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 8 You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. 9 Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
Okay, so in the OT every reference to "early" and "late" rains occur in the context affirming the faithfulness of the Lord. (this from Douglas Moo's commentary on James) some scriptures to illustrate include:
7 Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 8 You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. 9 Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
Okay, so in the OT every reference to "early" and "late" rains occur in the context affirming the faithfulness of the Lord. (this from Douglas Moo's commentary on James) some scriptures to illustrate include:
Deuteronomy 11:13-14
13 So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul— 14 then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil.
and. . .
and. . .
Hosea 6:3
3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.”
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.”
We must accept what Beth calls the "Law of the Harvest", that spiritual life is most often a cyclical process. The "rains" are the times when it seems like God is going out of his way to pour His Spirit out on you. I identify these times as when every sermon seems to tie in with every song on the radio and every scripture I read. Point in case I have been worshiping lately to this song and lo and behold I never realized it is based on the above scripture until I read it myself in study.
It's almost like I "see" visually the hand of God working in my life growing me and blessing me. These are the most exciting times in my spiritual walk, filled with wonder, assurance, and profound Joy in my faith. I was even thinking at the beginning of the year that I was finally getting my spiritual life in order again. I was focused in on a powerful study of James, I was memorizing scripture, taking a wee bit more time to pray (always my biggest battle), digesting new ways of looking at parts of my faith, and I really felt like it was a momentum I could keep up and should be able to carry on for. . .what? I guess I was hoping the rest of my life? I think the reality of it is I am experiencing His rains. It has nothing to do with my effort but everything to do with His love lavished on me. I look back at other times I have felt like this and to be honest, they didn't last and I went through another period of frustration and apparent stagnancy in my walk. So what does that mean? It is time to accept the beauty of the process.
There comes a time when the Word has to be tested. The time of learning has to PRODUCE FRUIT. It may even come down to our willingness to believe in something we cannot see. Even when it appears nothing is being done, no prayer is being answered, no light is at the end of the tunnel. These verses may be taken slightly out of context but the meaning is the same. . .
Hosea Chapter 3
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Some people are "between the rains" right now. I will be there again some day. I hope that when I am my faith is not shaken but rather I remember that my season of rain will come again. I need only be faithful, patient, and true. Assuredly no small task but isn't anything achievable for a time? How you might ask can we help stay the course through the dry seasons? Beth gave me several thoughts on that; one stand out to me being to avoid grumbling at our brothers and sisters in Christ. It's hard when you are the odd-man out and everyone else seems to be drenched with the Spirit. Of course we want to lash out, but James admonishes against it. Hold on, friend! Also helpful is the fresh resolve that others' testimony can bring. Most importantly remember that He never leaves us nor forsakes us. So to sum up, my faith/healing/prayer problem is not and may never be solved. I think of my brother going on his third year of health battles. Some answers have been found but symptoms remain and change in nature and power. It's been a confusing and frustrating road for him. I have prayed for his healing many times. I continue to pray for healing but now I see it from a different perspective. God seems to have answered not now, so my prayers hold as well that Zack would be patient, faithful, and remain firm in his foundation that God's timing is not ours but it is perfect and zack's "rains" will come again. As surely as the sun will rise. Whether the healing/progress is physical or spiritual HE WILL COME to us. God is capable of healing but He also grows us by letting us walk out our faith. It is this balance that comforts me when as I wrestle with His Word. and now my brain is fried. nap time.
There comes a time when the Word has to be tested. The time of learning has to PRODUCE FRUIT. It may even come down to our willingness to believe in something we cannot see. Even when it appears nothing is being done, no prayer is being answered, no light is at the end of the tunnel. These verses may be taken slightly out of context but the meaning is the same. . .
Hosea Chapter 3
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Some people are "between the rains" right now. I will be there again some day. I hope that when I am my faith is not shaken but rather I remember that my season of rain will come again. I need only be faithful, patient, and true. Assuredly no small task but isn't anything achievable for a time? How you might ask can we help stay the course through the dry seasons? Beth gave me several thoughts on that; one stand out to me being to avoid grumbling at our brothers and sisters in Christ. It's hard when you are the odd-man out and everyone else seems to be drenched with the Spirit. Of course we want to lash out, but James admonishes against it. Hold on, friend! Also helpful is the fresh resolve that others' testimony can bring. Most importantly remember that He never leaves us nor forsakes us. So to sum up, my faith/healing/prayer problem is not and may never be solved. I think of my brother going on his third year of health battles. Some answers have been found but symptoms remain and change in nature and power. It's been a confusing and frustrating road for him. I have prayed for his healing many times. I continue to pray for healing but now I see it from a different perspective. God seems to have answered not now, so my prayers hold as well that Zack would be patient, faithful, and remain firm in his foundation that God's timing is not ours but it is perfect and zack's "rains" will come again. As surely as the sun will rise. Whether the healing/progress is physical or spiritual HE WILL COME to us. God is capable of healing but He also grows us by letting us walk out our faith. It is this balance that comforts me when as I wrestle with His Word. and now my brain is fried. nap time.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Between the Rains - Part 1
What are the sort of verses you struggle with in scripture? For me, I have always had a hard time going over the verses that have to do with prayer and faith.
"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” "
Matthew 17:19-21
13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
(from James 5)
Nothing impossible?? Healing will be given?? How much faith exactly and how do I know if I have enough?? For most of my life I have felt awkward with the verses that mention being given what we ask for, as if we could demand things from God because we think they are "good" or the "right thing". I know He doesn't operate that way but is sovereign and all-knowing. I also know He doesn't always choose to heal when or how we want; even to the point of death. Plus, I don't see any Elijahs walking around keeping it from raining for three years, etc. dream interpretation?(Joseph) Fire from heaven? (Elijah) These are the sort of drastic things that seem to be alluded to in the NT as possibilities. Of course I realize that God deals differently in us today (e.g. the conviction of the Holy Spirit - I hope I never need fire from heaven to get my attention) Okay so this leaves me somewhere in the middle. I believe in healing. I don't believe I will ever move a mountain. Sometimes I think we should switch "faith" with "assurance". For example in James 1 when it says we should ask for wisdom in "faith" I feel like it is saying ask with the assurance of your heart that it will be given. It doesn't say what that will look like. Just that it will be given. I feel a similar interpretation could be made in the above scripture "the prayer offered with "faith" (I would sub "assurance of God's action") will make the person well". Again it doesn't say when or even how. Perhaps it is a new level of spiritual well-being and not even physical. The other day when Isaac had a fever I prayed over him that God would ease it but I also knew that it would go away with time anyway; I just felt bad for him so I prayed that he would be relieved of it sooner than just medicine could do. Now, I guess in my heart I didn't believe his fever would disappear at that exact moment. Is that a lack of faith? If I use the assurance synonym I have been going with then I feel more like my prayer in that moment proves that I trust God will hear and act on my behalf. I feel "assured" *note the below definitions
noun
of His love and intervention in whatever form it may be, whether or not Isaac's fever immediately disappears. To me this is faith. In James 1 when He says that if we ask for wisdom we must do it in faith. Does that mean that if we aren't faithful enough we won't receive it? or more like if we ask for it "with full confidence -freedom from doubt / ASSURANCE" then it will be given. We believe it will be given though we don't know when or how. I don't think the immediacy of the answer has anything to do with whether or not I have faith. and that is a hard lesson for me to learn. Believe it or not this is ALL to open the door to my next post which actually has something to do with the title of the post. I hope I am able to tie the two subjects together coherently. It may be a few more days of contemplation. Please remember these are opinions only and I base this not in any doctrine or theology or even a good understanding of the words "faith" and "assurance". Sometimes I just need to get my thoughts out onto a place I can see them, maybe from a new angle.
"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” "
Matthew 17:19-21
13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
(from James 5)
Nothing impossible?? Healing will be given?? How much faith exactly and how do I know if I have enough?? For most of my life I have felt awkward with the verses that mention being given what we ask for, as if we could demand things from God because we think they are "good" or the "right thing". I know He doesn't operate that way but is sovereign and all-knowing. I also know He doesn't always choose to heal when or how we want; even to the point of death. Plus, I don't see any Elijahs walking around keeping it from raining for three years, etc. dream interpretation?(Joseph) Fire from heaven? (Elijah) These are the sort of drastic things that seem to be alluded to in the NT as possibilities. Of course I realize that God deals differently in us today (e.g. the conviction of the Holy Spirit - I hope I never need fire from heaven to get my attention) Okay so this leaves me somewhere in the middle. I believe in healing. I don't believe I will ever move a mountain. Sometimes I think we should switch "faith" with "assurance". For example in James 1 when it says we should ask for wisdom in "faith" I feel like it is saying ask with the assurance of your heart that it will be given. It doesn't say what that will look like. Just that it will be given. I feel a similar interpretation could be made in the above scripture "the prayer offered with "faith" (I would sub "assurance of God's action") will make the person well". Again it doesn't say when or even how. Perhaps it is a new level of spiritual well-being and not even physical. The other day when Isaac had a fever I prayed over him that God would ease it but I also knew that it would go away with time anyway; I just felt bad for him so I prayed that he would be relieved of it sooner than just medicine could do. Now, I guess in my heart I didn't believe his fever would disappear at that exact moment. Is that a lack of faith? If I use the assurance synonym I have been going with then I feel more like my prayer in that moment proves that I trust God will hear and act on my behalf. I feel "assured" *note the below definitions
as·sur·ance
1.a positive declaration intended to give confidence: He received assurances of support for the project.
4.freedom from timidity; self-confidence; belief in one's abilities: She acted with speed and assurance.
5.presumptuous boldness; impudence.
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