Family Happenings - part 1

I can't believe that I only have a couple of posts for this month. There has been so much on my heart and mind but every day slips by without my putting it down in any concrete form. I'm so thankful the Lord keeps good track of this scatterbrain. As Trinity begins 3rd grade and Blake starts kindergarten next week, I find myself reflecting on the past year. Since we moved in May and summers don't count on the calendar (PLAYTIME) the fall is when I buckle down to a fresh routine. I find a study, commit to more things, begin after school activities again with the kids, etc. This was our first year in our new home and never did I envision one year later we would be without a home church to be serving in and new neighborhood friends to have play dates and mommy chats with but that is exactly where we are. As I ponder the why's of how a social butterfly like me can possibly be lonely I start to see a picture forming. It's a picture of me standing on a hilltop, with little villages in the distance titled with names like "Home Group", "Women's Ministry", "Mentor/Friends", "Community", . . .these villages are so lovely and I long to spend time in them. I used to visit them constantly but suddenly I can't see the roads. How am I supposed to reach them? I'm frustrated and a little down about it so I decide to lay down so I can't see them anymore. The sun is dazzling and I am comforted by it's warmth. I pray for wisdom and direction. I give my frustration to Jesus. I confess to God that I have spent too long in the villages and not enough time on the hilltop where I experience Him the most intimately. The villages have been my comfortable norm, and oh how I miss them. However I realize that though they are good and beautiful they can't get me any closer to the sunlight, we are all on the same terrestrial sphere. I sit back up and look at the rays of light streaming from the clouds over the villages and lighting them with a glow almost blinding in strength. I get it. God has called me out of my usual routine in order that I would rely more on Him. I don't get to have the comfort of the church family for a time that I might learn He is worthy of that time and more. I don't have the perfect home group/women's ministry position because it allows me to seek my husband's heart and really listen for when he is ready to help me in what I know God has gifted me to do. I'm still trying to figure out God's purpose for having difficulty making new friends but I hazard a guess that it also has to do with using people as crutches for my faith. I'm going to get to return to each of those villages in God's timing. There have been many breaks of sunlight over my soul. Serving at Eastside with my daughter. My friend Laura's wedding. God has been faithful to bless me with wonderfully deep study of His word this transitional year. I had many distractions; Trinity struggled in school, Blake threw the mother of all tantrums and of course the demands of a new baby. I am grateful that through the moments of missing my villages that God has shown more of Himself to me. I do feel I am on the right track and that gives me peace. The rest will come. As usual this will make sense only to me, in fact I sat down to do a post about our new bunny. Ha! a much easier job than trying to sort these reflections out.